Saturday, October 21, 2006

Making it Matter

All of this must mean something. Taking away body parts. Chipping away at myself. It must all go towards living a healthy, long life. Because if not why am I doing this? I am doing this in the hope of seeing my children grow up. God knows how much I love them and reader, if you know me, you also know the depth of my love for them.
The road ahead seems long but hopeful. Three months of chemo and self administered inoculations. Then still a whole year of of weekly doses of a drug that may give me a fighting chance at a long life.
So it seems to me that I have a job to do. That job is making all this matter. Making it mean something.
I used to work at an organization that served the Jewish community here in Seattle. I learned a lot of things from this wonderful group of people. One of them is that if one person is a slave in this world that we all are slaves. Until all people are free, none of us are free. I know I use them term VERY loosely, but my point is this:
AS LONG AS ONE WOMAN HAS BREAST CANCER, WE ALL DO. Until breast cancer is irradicated, or any cancer for that matter, we are all slaves to it. Whether you are ill or your partner/spouse/lover/sister/mother/brother/father/child, is ill, we are all touched by it.
The word that keeps rolling around in my head is service. Service to help others. So many have helped me in this short amount of time. I cannot even start to tell you in this particular entry.
My point is service for me, will help on my road to making this matter.

Peace Out


But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?
-The Verve

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Chica you are the BOMB! I love your blog, I am excited that I will get to follow your progress. I am pulling for you, the one thing that stands out about you is your outspoken love for your children, that is such a huge motivation, there is no doubt in my mind that you are going to kick some serious ass! I am here for you, I can do anything you need me to do...iven pick up steamy fresh dog poop, I will do it for you! I will be intouch very soon! Start making your list for me...

susie said...

Right on, Sister. Service is turning out to be my saving grace in dealing with my affliction. (For more on that, see my blog at http://thepathofthewarrior.blogspot.com)

I'll never forget the image you told our PEPS group of you dog-paddling in the Danskin about six weeks after your last surgery. And borrowing a bike at the last minute.

Heres lots of good vibes for recovery coming your way.

-Susie H.