Saturday, December 02, 2006

Sometimes...

This last summer I read a poetry book by the name of The Sometimes Girl by Lisa Zaran. I highly recommend it. Anyhoo, was lying in bed last night thinking of the things I sometimes want, or am or am not. This blog is in no way aiming to liken my thoughts to the above mentioned book. Just me rambling; as always...rambling

Sometimes I just want to sit in the background and watch.
Sometimes I wish you would just shut up.
Sometimes I want to call the girl I used to be and ask her what's up.
Sometimes I yell at my children.
Sometimes I want someone else to direct traffic.
Sometimes I miss by boobs.
Sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I wake up for no reason and listen to how quiet it is in my house.
Sometimes I want to quit
Sometimes I resent you because you are healthy.
Sometimes I feel hopeful.
Sometimes I tire of you thinking you know me.
Sometimes I want another child.
Sometimes I want to runaway and join the circus.
Sometimes I want to walk around in public bald just to shock people.
Sometimes I wear my hats to make people feel comfortable.
Sometimes I want to pinch you very hard under your arm.
Sometimes I know that you will never get it.
Sometimes I feel like people use religion as a very convenient weapon.
Sometimes I look at my children and see who they will be when they grow up.

Peace Out




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sometimes a whole week will go by and it was like I blacked out..don't remember a single thing, like last week....not a freakin clue!

Anonymous said...

ANONYMOUS....because I don't have a blog and I'm too lazy to get one...

Hey Cuz! This is your Cousin Sharon Kay in COLDorado! I heard about your web site through your Dad. It's AWESOME! Great to vent your feelings. My sister, Mom and I have been thinking a lot about you and pray that you can get through this! My Mom feels what you are going through as she has been "poisened and burned" as they say in "cancer language". It was tough to see her not have an appetite for ANYTHING, as she has always been a big eater. She literally forced herself to eat sometimes, even if it was small amounts as her drive to survive was leading her. She had a groshaun(sp) where the Chemo entered directly into her heart. She did fine but had a blood clot in her neck from that thing. Thank God we caught it in time and she went through almost a year of taking coumadin. But 2 and 1/2 years later she seems to be doing great! Her hair is still patchy but she has great wigs. I think because she is older it never really grew like she wanted.
I was reading about your blog on Irony about all the healthy eating and exercise and you still got cancer....It's all the SUCK EWING genes!! Cancer, Alzheimers, Heart problems...pick one from the EWING MENU!I have high cholesterol and heart problems and had a stupid heart attack while I was EXERCISING to get HEALTHY!! Then when I look in the mirror I am also reminded of the BIG EWING ASS!! Oh if we could only pick our Genes!!! I feel for you girlfriend!! Hang in there!!!
Don't get caught up about you dumb laundry either....UTILIZE your friends! I'm sure they love to feel like they are helping. I know I did with my Mom, it was like I couldn't take the pain or cancer away but at least I could help in other small ways like laundry. It made ME feel better! Save your energy for your beautiful children and husband!
I will keep myself updated on your condition through your blog.
I love you and I will continue to pray for you!!!
Love your cousin......Sharon Kay