Thursday, November 27, 2008

Here Comes Crazy

Ya'll wavin the crazy flag yet? The crazy holiday season flag? The flag that waves and turns folks into freaks. You know the one...
People get incredibly hurried and rude this time of year. Families wait all year to bring up all the crap the hurt their feelings or made them mad some time back in April. Then after being together one too many days, the poo hits the fan.
Don't get me wrong, I am no Scrooge. I love the holiday season. I love doing all the works. But I don't like the crazy.
I also do not like the thought of having to give gifts. It's not that I am cheap or uncaring. It's that I can't stand the thought of buying something to put in a box just to give it because I am supposed to. Hate it. What could anyone in my personal circle need? Why make a list and then KNOW that's what you're getting. The are so many people around us who really do have need. Basic need. Shelter, clothing, food, health care.
My family and I have adopted a family from United Way this year. This family has need. Basic need. I would rather spend my time with my children showing them how to give than get.
Around the middle of March I doubt many folks remember what all the got for Christmas.
Wow reading back over this I really do sound like a scrooge. I may not be explaining myself very well.
But then again maybe I am...

Peace Out

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


What are you thankful for?

Good health?
Warm house?
Clothes on your back?
Food to eat?

Seems so simple doesn't it? But for some it is not. At least not everyday. We bitch and moan about anything and everything.
Gratitude sometimes comes as a flicker. It leaves as quickly as it comes. Just a little glint of sun through some tree branches on a winter day.

We get stuck in our own story.
I do all the time.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for too much to even mention, but thankful none the less.

Peace Out

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Diamonds and Unicorns

This is for you and you know who you are rockin the side pony. Oh yea, try and act like you only did it for Halloween. I bet you do your hair like this every weekend AND that pretty eyeshadow.
You're the best grrl!!!!

Peace Out

Thursday, November 06, 2008


I think about it all the time. I think about it daily. Sometimes I think I obsess about it.
It follows me like a dark cloud trying to rain on me. It's like a deep ocean that I am not willing to drown in.
It scares me.
I hate it.
I worry all the time about every cough I get. I worry I will find a lump or bump somewhere. I worry that I will hear the words..the cancer is back.
I think about my body being a mine field. What will be destroyed next?
When will the other shoe drop?
Did it already drop since I have had cancer twice?
Will my girls have a mom? Will they have to watch something horrific happen to me?
Will A have to raise our girls alone?
Death wants to swallow me and I won't let it.
I think about this all the time Every fucking day and I HATE it.