Thursday, April 30, 2009

Push It

How far would/do you push yourself? To the brink of self ruin. To soaring heights never before reached?
What would you do to attain your goal?
What is your goal?
A clean house?
A marathon?
Perfect children?
Religious piety?
Weight loss?
Good health?
Whatever it is that you covet, what would you do to get it?
I had this friend that would never give up. She never ever ever gave up. Until the very end, she never gave up. She pushed herself, in her weakened state, harder than I have ever seen anyone in my life. She was a giant in heart. Today I think back about her and smile knowing that she was fucking insane, in the best way that one can be out of their mind. Lord love that girl...
So today as I am sick with a pitiful cold, I have yet to sit down. And I think to myself, when is it enough. When do you just say to hell with it all and let peace wash over you. Damn the laundry! Damn the dishes! Damn the homework! Damn it all!
Just be peace.

Every now and then, I get down to the end of a day,
Ill have to stop, ask myself, whatve I done?
It just seems so useless to have to work so hard,
And nothin ever really seem to come from it
- Tom Petty
Damn the Torpedos

Monday, April 20, 2009

When Do You Feel Like a Good Parent?

When is the time you think to yourself....I AM A GOOD PARENT?
Is it when all the laundry is done?
Is it when your kid gets good grades or uses good manners?
Parenting is so complicated. There's so many trial and errors. So many tears and smiles. Sometimes I honestly feel like an impostor trying to act like a mom. Who thought it would be a good idea for me to raise children?
Sometimes I am not a good mom, but I am a fun mom.
Sometimes I am not a nice mom, but I am a good mom.
It's a balancing act everyday.
I love my children more than air. I hope everyday with all my heart that I do right by them.

Peace Out

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Secret Garden

Today it was actually sunny here. Ahhhhh could spring be here?
This year, for the first time of my life I am going to plant a garden with my girls. That is a first for me.
I have an acre of land. Cleaning that up every spring is not a first. I do it every year.
While I was outside today, I took a moment to take in everything. The smell of dirt. Hearing my wind chimes. I listened to the wind going through the trees. I even saw a bald eagle today in my back yard.
My girls were playing outside while I readied my little plot of land.
I can rake leaves like a mofo, as for an garden that produces veggies, I have no idea how that's all going to go. Wish me luck.
I will tell you this, I have my little plants started and it's supposed to be nice here the better part of this week. Spring in the North West rawks!!

Peace Out