Friday, July 23, 2010
Those are easy questions. I am an adult. At least that's what the calendar says.
But my children, well, the are children. I have spent all the years of theirs lives making choices for them and about them. Today I hit a brick wall...
My oldest turned eight this month. She has eight years of opinions and wants and wishes. She expresses them very well and not always the way I would like her to, as in whining.
Today was different. I suddenly realized that she needed to make a choice without me. I wanted her to do one thing, she wanted to do something else. For the first time in all these years I was upset, but in a more hurt feelings emotional way. I looked at her and said, ok it's your choice. She knew I was very sad and told me that she's not happy if I'm not happy, which is exactly how I feel about her. I told her that in her life we would both make choices that neither one of us agreed with. We would have to be accepting of this.
Then in my head I thought, HOLY SHIT, I AM A MOM!!!!!!!
I am a full fledged mutha of a mom!
I soooooooo wanted her to make MY choice, but I needed her to have the full impact of making her own. The good and the bad.
Through the years, I have to allow my children to do this. There will be millions of times I will have to grin and bare it. I will bite my tongue and let them succeed AND fall on their faces. Because that's what you're supposed to do in my book. I will be the soft place to land when the fall is steep. I will be the first and loudest to cheer at the goals and triumphs.
I will catch them when they fall and release them when they need to run. No matter if it hurts or if my joy shines like the sun.
Who doesn't know what I'm talking about
Who's never left home, who's never struck out
To find a dream and a life of their own
A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone
Many precede and many will follow
A young girl's dream no longer hollow
It takes the shape of a place out west
But what it holds for her, she hasn't yet guessed
She needs wide open spaces
Room to make her big mistakes
She needs new faces
She knows the high stakes
She traveled this road as a child
Wide eyed and grinning, she never tired
But now she won't be coming back with the rest
If these are life's lessons, she'll take this test
She knows the high stakes
As her folks drive away, her dad yells, "Check the oil!"
Mom stares out the window and says, "I'm leaving my girl"
She said, "It didn't seem like that long ago"
When she stood there and let her own folks know
She knows the highest stakes
Wide Open Spaces-The Dixie Chicks
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I understand that everyone wants to make money. I also understand the sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. That's why someone would sell something that is "supposed" to cure some nasty stuff that is here on earth.
The unfortunate thing is, people will believe the lies that these tiered money making schemes spew out. Sometimes the people that actually sell this crap, believe it.
Let's be clear about two things here:
No one gets rich on these MLM's EXCEPT the folks at the very very top.
Cancer nor Leukemia have been cured by any fruit or vitamin.
How cruel, how wrong, it is to tell some, anyone that what they are selling can cure such an asshole of a disease. If that did work, wouldn't we ALL be "drinking the koolaide?" How dare somehow who is so clearly unqualified, give false hope to someone who is scared out of their mind.
Also, if ANY thing in this world could make us rich, wouldn't we all be selling it? Wouldn't we all be rich?
At this point I am disgusted. THERE IS NO CURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If there was, no one would lose an daughter, mother, friend, aunt, dad, brother, wife, husband....
There are so many prayers, hopes, and dreams, for a cure. It's a cruel lie to say you have one to line your pockets.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
My sweet Elliot is turning eight. And wouldn't you know it, she went and lost a tooth to celebrate. This girl makes me so proud. She is kind and loyal. She's so so sweeeeeeet. She will be in third grade this fall! I am amazed at how quickly time has flown by. Being pregnant with her changed me. It was not the easiest of times, yet here we are, eight years later. When I became pregnant I had just finished my first battle with breast cancer. Elliot was a sign of hope. I love you my big girl, more than air... Peace Out
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Summer is finally here in the Seattle area! Yes I know we get a bad wrap around here about all the rain, but have you ever been up here in the summer? It's quite easily the most beautiful place that I want to be. Today I have three sun drenched little girls giggling in the water at a local creek. The water is clear and cool. There's no one else around. Just the sun and the sound of a flowing creek. Yesterday I took my girls to the local water park. I like to say it is the land of wife beater t shirts, camel toe, and muffin tops. Its crowded with teenagers who dress like pole dancers. My kids don't really notice all that. All they know is water and fun is everywhere. I prefer this quiet swimmin hole to all that, but honestly kids don't care. They want school to be out and to get wet. It's a happy day when life is this simple! Peace Out
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
You know when folks ask that question: Who are the people you would have at a dinner party? First on my list would be Frida.
I wrote about Frida her once before. Boobalicious: I Heart Frida Khalo
When I think about trying to be the person I need to be, I think of her.
When I feel weak and want to give up, I think of her.
When I have pain I do not think I will conquer, I think of her.