I don't think that a day goes by that I don't think about dying. I have blogged this before.
I, in a round about way, knew someone who died recently. He knew he was dying, and choose the date of his death.
There is a program called Dying with Dignity. It covers a wide area, such as getting your things in order, financial and what you can of the emotional. It is not a suicide pact of any kind. A person who would look into this would be terminally ill.
I am torn....
Would my ego and gumption keep me from doing this? Would there be a spark somewhere inside of me that still felt hope? Or would I accept my plight and try to say all my goodbyes? Write letters to my children. Apologize to those I hurt and cuss out those who hurt me? Would I be fierce to the end or a lamb of grace?
Like I said, I am torn.
I will say this, today I am not ready for anything other than living. Seeing my children grow up and holding my grandchildren.
When people say to me, OH! You're a cancer survivor! I say no, I am SURVIVING.
The day I hold my grandchild, I will be a survivor. Until that day happens, and I've got my eye on the prize!
Peace Out
Peace Out
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