Monday, November 14, 2011

The Cold Cold Shoulder

The weather is changing. It's getting quite cold outside. Rather chilly.
I am getting in a groove as is the entire house. Soccer is over now on to basket ball. Elliot is a baller dontcha know?
I am settling in to getting to know new people. It was completely overwhelming at first. It still is sometimes but I feel like I have a handle on it.
Here's the rub, and frankly I don't even know how to say this....
Someone who extended a gracious hand to me, now will not even look my way. I am completely baffled. I have very little interaction with this They don't wave if they see me, or smile my direction. Now if they had not been so welcoming and warm initially, this would not of even hit my radar. But they were, and I don't know if I should say something or let it go. I am a grown up. I know that not everyone will be friends with everyone.
I know when I have been shitty, but I also know when I haven't. This time I am confused.
So I am going to let this personPinned Image go. I refuse to keep trying to no avail.
My father stopped speaking to me a couple of years ago. The last conversation I had with him, I asked him why we had not been communicating much. Having cancer twice, I distinctly remember telling him that if something ever happened to me, that my children, his grandchildren, would need him.  There was no direct answer. We got off the phone, me thinking, well, I'll talk to him in a couple of days. Days, weeks months, and now years have gone by. This is not the first time in my life this has happened between us. Frankly, THIS time, I have let go. Whatever his reasons are, I don't know. Now it affects my children. They don't understand why they never see Poppa anymore. I refuse to have my girls in this oddness.
Sometimes that how life is. Sometimes we have to stop trying to fit a square peg into a circle hole.
So.....done done and done.

Peace Out

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Miss you

Its been so lonely with out you here, like a bird without a song.