Sunday, November 04, 2012

Birds of a Feather

Birds of a feather flock together, as the saying goes.
This makes me think of being in school and my flock of friends. And now as my own daughters have their own group of friends, I watch them hang around together.Telling each other secrets. Giggling at things I will never know about.
When you have a child, that tiny small human, you know their every sound and move. What cry means what. They have nothing to hide. In reality you as an adult have nothing to hide from them too. It is a pristine moment in time that two humans know everything about each other. You watch your babys cognitive skills grow and can almost see their thoughts develop as they are made.
It's only as the get older that they learn "privacy". They learn what behaviors we accept and don't. They learn to hide things. Sad but true.
On the other hand a parent learns what question to answer when. A slippery slope. When was your first kiss? When did you first have alcohol. Did you ever do drugs. The questions get harder and the delivery of answers must be carefully timed.
Now I see my daughters with their friends and I can tell by their whispers, there are now things I will never know. That's ok with me. They need their friends. Someone they can trust. Someone who is not a parent or authority figure.
I am so grateful that my girls have wonderful friends. They are nice girls. They have their own jokes. Their own likes. It's a part of them all growing up, learning to trust others.
I am not my children's friend. I am their parent. I am not raising children, I am raising adults. The lessons they are taught right now, through every person that touches their lives, will shape them into the adults they will become. I am so thankful for the circle of friends they have. I do have a careful eye on who is in their lives. I hope my children will gravitate towards like individuals. Birds of a feather flock together.

Peace Out

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